Over glamorized fairytale romance seems given in every teenage relationship. There's OBVIOUSLY no need for emotions other than pure joy at the sight of the other and depression at the lack thereof. That and the disengagement of physical contact, of which there seems no end. There is no need for it, not all the time, not in bloody public. Such constant attention only breeds a lonely ex, a feeling of abandonment if the other, god forbid, might want a moment apart. There is no one more important, perfect and so very untrustworthy than the other. They could leave you at any moment and feeling nothing of it, and so they must tether themselves together. Behind the vale of pink happy, romantic mist, the partners gaze and ignore all flaws. Although, ignoring the small things can be good, the over looking of other major flaws is not. However, the teenage Romantic hasn't the knowledge or the experience to decipher between the two, romance and obsession. A different between hand holding and an undying need for physical contact.
Although early relationships seem to have proven altogether beneficial to the future love lives of those who choose to partake, some aspects have been proven to have the opposite effect. Early relationships that involve cheating or have failed miserably after one or both members has had prior distrust for the opposite sex, seem to cause the subjects more distrust or fear of another relationship. Nevertheless, while teenage heartbreak can be a trying time it helps prepare us for our future breakups. In addition, it helps us identify who we would like to marry in the future as we know that one cannot only choose the most attractive to us, but also the most mentally compatible. While we are young, we can see that the pretty boy isn't as charming as he is thought to be and the geek is not so disgusting after all.
School Year
I'm so bloody done with this year.
This school year needs to end... badly. I can't seem to make it through a day without someone saying something to me that brings me to tears. My knees shake walking down the stairs and I'm just waiting for the next emotional blow. I feel I’ve been dehumanized and that I'm just a voodoo doll of the entire school community. People laugh at everything I say or act as if I've just praised the most foul thing on the planet. Hypocrites, the lot of them, I've said nothing they themselves haven't said. And they rebuke me as if I am not human, an article up for criticism. I'm not up for your approval, I do not crave the admiration of an ignorant load of children. I am not interested in hearing what you think of me because I am apathetic towards your opinions.
If I could, I'd skip the entire review process for the SOLS and just take them. Then maybe I'd be able to get out and be around people who like me. I've never fit in at school before and it's BEYOND ME why I first thought things would be different here. It's the same thing, people are identical clones in everyway except for the clothing they wear and how they do their hair. Their minds are geometric blocks linked together with chains of ignorance and conformity. Me, I like to think I'm nothing like them, I like to think that.
This school year needs to end... badly. I can't seem to make it through a day without someone saying something to me that brings me to tears. My knees shake walking down the stairs and I'm just waiting for the next emotional blow. I feel I’ve been dehumanized and that I'm just a voodoo doll of the entire school community. People laugh at everything I say or act as if I've just praised the most foul thing on the planet. Hypocrites, the lot of them, I've said nothing they themselves haven't said. And they rebuke me as if I am not human, an article up for criticism. I'm not up for your approval, I do not crave the admiration of an ignorant load of children. I am not interested in hearing what you think of me because I am apathetic towards your opinions.
If I could, I'd skip the entire review process for the SOLS and just take them. Then maybe I'd be able to get out and be around people who like me. I've never fit in at school before and it's BEYOND ME why I first thought things would be different here. It's the same thing, people are identical clones in everyway except for the clothing they wear and how they do their hair. Their minds are geometric blocks linked together with chains of ignorance and conformity. Me, I like to think I'm nothing like them, I like to think that.
Genie
I recently watched a documentary on the case of Genie. Genie was a little girl whose parents kept her locked up in a tiny room until she was thirteen. That was when authorities found her and rescued her. She lacked primary socialization and therefore had no social skills and even impaired mobilization. She became subject to an important sociological study. Many scientists attempted to teach her all that she had missed as a child. Yet, even after years she never was completely cured. She went from foster home to foster home and eventually ended up in a home for adults with disabilities.
When she was first discovered she had vocal abilities similar to an infant. In addition she could hardly walk and eventually developed a “bunny walk”. Later she learned to speak using sign language. She spent that majority of her time immediately after her rescue in the Los Angeles Children's Hospital where she was studied intensely and put through tests. Later, after a number of unsuccessful foster homes she was allowed to return to the custody of her mother. Obviously this proved to be unsuccessful and again was sent to six more foster homes. There she developed a fear of opening her mouth. Now she lives in a home as previously stated, undisclosed, in Southern California. Despite the relative success of Genie's education the hospital which had funded her training cut off and left her with insufficient knowledge. At the time she could only speak using unconnected phrases.
When she was first discovered she had vocal abilities similar to an infant. In addition she could hardly walk and eventually developed a “bunny walk”. Later she learned to speak using sign language. She spent that majority of her time immediately after her rescue in the Los Angeles Children's Hospital where she was studied intensely and put through tests. Later, after a number of unsuccessful foster homes she was allowed to return to the custody of her mother. Obviously this proved to be unsuccessful and again was sent to six more foster homes. There she developed a fear of opening her mouth. Now she lives in a home as previously stated, undisclosed, in Southern California. Despite the relative success of Genie's education the hospital which had funded her training cut off and left her with insufficient knowledge. At the time she could only speak using unconnected phrases.
The Difference Between People and Humans
People and Humans are two very different things. A human doesn't see others as anymore than an obstacle, a nuisance. People see others as they are. Both can be seen as pessimistic yet one is more versatile than the other. You see, humans will always see others as a way of bettering themselves or as being something unimportant and in the lamest term “stupid”. Yet, a person can see the good in people and the bad, the angel and the devil if you will. They can see the person and they can see the human hiding in their innermost fears and loathing.
You've seen these “humans”. The ones, who gossip to knock others down, say things, horrible things to their face and generally care only for themselves. These are the ones who roll their eyes when you greet them and laugh when you smile. These are the ones that push the rest of us into the dark. They group with other humans and in a way feed off of each other.
People on the other hand know the good and bad of mankind. They are old souls and enlightened ones. They've seen both sides of the story and they have felt love for another. This is real love, not “they're my family I have to love them”. These are the people who say “this is my family, I love them and I don't care what people say” and mean it. They go to the other sitting in the corner, crying and feeling like dirt and they bring them back up into the light. And they keep them there.
You've seen these “humans”. The ones, who gossip to knock others down, say things, horrible things to their face and generally care only for themselves. These are the ones who roll their eyes when you greet them and laugh when you smile. These are the ones that push the rest of us into the dark. They group with other humans and in a way feed off of each other.
People on the other hand know the good and bad of mankind. They are old souls and enlightened ones. They've seen both sides of the story and they have felt love for another. This is real love, not “they're my family I have to love them”. These are the people who say “this is my family, I love them and I don't care what people say” and mean it. They go to the other sitting in the corner, crying and feeling like dirt and they bring them back up into the light. And they keep them there.
Life
City life is incredibly damaging to a body's sanity. Gun shots, police sirens and thousands of ignorant apathetic people shoving themselves through the crowds of nameless faces. It begins to wear on the body and the mind. You think; “Why?”, and you just can't seem to find the answer. Why?
Why do people murder, why do they steal? Why do they continue to propel themselves through the world of unidentified souls, their fellow man whom they never think twice about.
Out of luck musicians, poor failed artists, men who just haven't had an easy time, they crowd our streets and we feel nothing for them. Sure, we hear them mumbling to themselves, toss a coin or two their way but is that really what they need?
We can push aside the rich, the poor and our friends and all to march in mindless formation. Endlessly we trudge on in search of that new promotion, meeting at 12:00 or even just a bit to eat.
I swear, it can drive a person mad if they think about it too long. Maybe that's why the rest of them stay silent. They keep their minds on lesser subjects because the true-life drama will end up killing them. Over exposure to the truth, an overdose that you can't come back from.
Some of us think to much, on the outside of our protective shields. Are we doomed to fall into depression? Possibly, the greatest minds of the social world have a knack for doing so. I certainly hope this is not my imminent future.
Why do people murder, why do they steal? Why do they continue to propel themselves through the world of unidentified souls, their fellow man whom they never think twice about.
Out of luck musicians, poor failed artists, men who just haven't had an easy time, they crowd our streets and we feel nothing for them. Sure, we hear them mumbling to themselves, toss a coin or two their way but is that really what they need?
We can push aside the rich, the poor and our friends and all to march in mindless formation. Endlessly we trudge on in search of that new promotion, meeting at 12:00 or even just a bit to eat.
I swear, it can drive a person mad if they think about it too long. Maybe that's why the rest of them stay silent. They keep their minds on lesser subjects because the true-life drama will end up killing them. Over exposure to the truth, an overdose that you can't come back from.
Some of us think to much, on the outside of our protective shields. Are we doomed to fall into depression? Possibly, the greatest minds of the social world have a knack for doing so. I certainly hope this is not my imminent future.
Theater
In times past people took pleasure in cultured activities. Now, we'd prefer watching a Hollywood movie - loosely based on a fantastic book or play- to actually getting out of the house to see some beautiful performance. Theater is slowly slipping away into obscurity as the movie industry continues to tighten it's hold on the depleting IQ of the American population. I know drama never will fully fade away, there will always be patrons thirsty for the actuality that is theater. However, we will continue to be the underdogs below the industries we once lorded over.
It used to be that going to the theater was a massive social occasion, exciting and new. Now, except for the usual faces, it's a novelty and it's decided at the last moment. Many would rather sit in a dark room idling the faces on the screen, the explosions, unwanted sex scenes. Theater has personality but I suppose that counts for very little nowadays.
It's nice, in a way, that the drama scene has become such a small sub culture. It's become a haven for the “outcasts”. Many people, who don't find themselves fitting in with others can usually find comfort in the theater. It's just something about us, we're more in touch with emotions. Of course, we have to be as we must tap into our innermost hidden emotions in order to portray a variety of personalities without the help of special effects.
In the end, we all know theater will never vanish and we'll always have that little local theater with the usual faces to comfort us whenever the world gets too fake.
It used to be that going to the theater was a massive social occasion, exciting and new. Now, except for the usual faces, it's a novelty and it's decided at the last moment. Many would rather sit in a dark room idling the faces on the screen, the explosions, unwanted sex scenes. Theater has personality but I suppose that counts for very little nowadays.
It's nice, in a way, that the drama scene has become such a small sub culture. It's become a haven for the “outcasts”. Many people, who don't find themselves fitting in with others can usually find comfort in the theater. It's just something about us, we're more in touch with emotions. Of course, we have to be as we must tap into our innermost hidden emotions in order to portray a variety of personalities without the help of special effects.
In the end, we all know theater will never vanish and we'll always have that little local theater with the usual faces to comfort us whenever the world gets too fake.
Lost
Lately my brain has been bothering me. Before it would whine at me that “I have work to do and school comes first”.
“Put away the computer, get your homework done”. Now, it's been telling me something else.
I don't know what caused this sudden change of tune but I do know that it worries me. I haven't been this uninterested in school since elementary.
Before, I could sit myself down and get the work completed quickly with proper grammar and memorization. Now nothing comes out correctly. The grammar's all off and I find misused or over used words all over the place.
Why did this stall have to hit me at such a bad time? I have a short story and rough draft due Monday, a Sociology exam Tuesday and god knows how many Spanish quizzes coming up.
I'm distracted by something – I can tell that much - yet I can't put my finger on what. I can't simply sit down to read a book, play a video game or even zone out to some television. I'm just blank and I seem to find myself irritated quickly.
Being home is a source of great stress for me but without being in my room I get nothing done. Even so, while I'm in my room I don't do anything but sit there and stare blankly off into space.
Somehow I've got to get my mind back on what's vital, find a way to re-inspire myself and get back to my studies.
“Put away the computer, get your homework done”. Now, it's been telling me something else.
I don't know what caused this sudden change of tune but I do know that it worries me. I haven't been this uninterested in school since elementary.
Before, I could sit myself down and get the work completed quickly with proper grammar and memorization. Now nothing comes out correctly. The grammar's all off and I find misused or over used words all over the place.
Why did this stall have to hit me at such a bad time? I have a short story and rough draft due Monday, a Sociology exam Tuesday and god knows how many Spanish quizzes coming up.
I'm distracted by something – I can tell that much - yet I can't put my finger on what. I can't simply sit down to read a book, play a video game or even zone out to some television. I'm just blank and I seem to find myself irritated quickly.
Being home is a source of great stress for me but without being in my room I get nothing done. Even so, while I'm in my room I don't do anything but sit there and stare blankly off into space.
Somehow I've got to get my mind back on what's vital, find a way to re-inspire myself and get back to my studies.
The Origin of Love
My favorite song of all time comes from the movie Hedwig and the Angry Inch. This song, one of many many amazing songs from the same movie, tells the mythical story of the origin of love as described by the main character Hedwig.
According to this song The Origin of Love before the gods of heaven broke us apart every human was actually the combination of two separate personalities. At the time there were three sexes of these people, comprised of four arms, four legs, one body and one head from which two faces peered. There were the Sun's children: who appeared like two men, the Earth's children: who appeared like two women and the Moon's children: who appeared like a man and a women together.
As they were human they were intelligent and strong. The god's feared this and so decided that the duos should be torn apart. Zeus, the mythical king of the Greek gods threw lightening bolts and cut the people apart into separate females and males. A Hindu god sealed them and Osiris and the other Egyptian gods summoned a hurricane to scatter the humans across the globe and away from those that they once shared a body and a life with.
According to this myth every person has a soul mate who, if they'd never been separate from, would be physically attached. In those times humans suffered only from hunger and thirst. Now, we are on an eternal search to find our other half and we have no way of knowing what they look like or how they act until we meet them. In the time before the god's wrath love never existed because love is the struggle that one goes through to find the one they were meant to be with. Love is the yearning for one's other half and the pain that we go through because we cannot truly be whole again. Yet, we do what we can and this is why relationships exist, why love exists.
Rufus Wainwright Lyrics
The Origin Of Love Lyrics
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